The System of Self-Suppression

Suppression of one idea of myself that I resent and forming another idea in opposition to that is the creation of myself in its entirety. Within this I exist in a state where I suppress myself constantly as a ‘bad idea’.

Within speaking to others and doing things in general I noticed a simple thing while stopping myself in the moment: I think of something and within that simple act form a separate idea within the very moment I am instigating my action, whether speaking doing or anything.

This implicates that I have not done anything really as myself and formed anxiety through immediately making an idea what what I am to be doing. Within this I do not fully embrace myself Here in the moment as myself.

I noticed this that it is the friction and my frustration, the denial of myself, the withholding and restricting of myself every moment. I do not give myself fully to me, which is because I hold myself down as a ‘bad idea’ LOL

I made a voice recording exploring this point:

http://www.box.net/shared/9iyj5bgkb0

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One Response to “The System of Self-Suppression”

  1. […] The System of Self-Suppression « Jorn's Blog […]

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