A Point to Turn

Since I moved into my new room I had to deal with some minor problems of maintenance in and around the house, especially with the freezing temperatures at the moment these things played up. Besides this my roommate moved out and left some unpaid bill for which I also had to make arrangements.

Besides that I had fucked up my teeth more than usual and the maintenance for my teeth costs me, especially because I haven’t been at the check up for over a year and than insurance doesn’t cover a treatment. All bills I have paid now and I signed up for a 4 month course on law, I have decided that the current job in telecommunication is ok to pay my bills but not something for the long term, so I have to push myself to develop within the system instead of just working a job as I have done before. Next to the education of myself within the system I started the SRA course through desteni productions to support myself in realizing myself and correcting myself in terms of what is best for all and apply myself in such a way that all may benefit and that it is not only for me which will only go to my grave anyway.

My regular days and stuff I have taken in application is that I don’t eat sugar or products with added sugar, I don’t smoke or drink alcohol – principally not – so not at all, the excuse that some make up of only smoking ‘socially’ doesn’t make sense. I have thought of going to a bar or so to get my ass in gear, but I don’t see the point in that specifically but maybe some other activities I can pick such as a sport or activity, I have thought about ice skating for myself again to give myself the physical feedback of myself.

I had a discussion with my brother the other day about the sopranos, a tv series about mobsters, where the ending of the series is open and my brother found that it would be a more satisfying ending if the mob boss ‘tony’ in the series died or was shot. I found it noticeable that often the ‘bad’ guy is wished dead as some sort of justice basically only to get a better feeling about the bad that was done but the person is only the symbol for the system that supported that personality and shaped it, I made the point that another ‘boss’ will take his place and that it wouldn’t remove anything, he said that doesn’t matter which confirmed that it was rather than for some sort of personal satisfaction, he agreed. We also discussed how in the series the typical family man and the tyrant existed as two sides of the same coin, a protective family man and a merciless mob boss existing in the same body which was quite well demonstrated in the series.


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