Self-Forgiveness On the Idea of Self

One of the main points throughout my life is the creation of an idea of myself, and getting depressed of particular ideas that I was striving for to reach, to call me. This I have done through idolizing people, either musicians, artists are even simply strangers with which I wanted to identify myself. Besides this idolizing and the creation of the idea of myself I set my goals and manipulate and control to achieve this role. The manipulation and control is not only of others but also of myself, even of my thoughts and everything that goes around inside me is compared to a particular set of values and thusly judged and either added to me and accepted or rejected.

This Unacceptable

This Ends Here

I do Not accept this any longer

I Stop

I Am Here

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to create an idea of myself, not realizing I was merely following what was given to me and expanding upon self definition within this creating disappointed followed by depression – indication of this are ‘heavy’ eyes

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to take the little judgments and opinions that I make during the day for granted, not realizing I am adding and expanding my definition of myself, limiting myself in expression as the more complex and ‘heavier’ idea of myself requires more energy to control and manipulate into place

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to create idols and compare beings with a set of values that I deem as ‘positive’, not realizing I am judging others according to judgments I have accepted about myself and within this supporting personality which is supporting inequality, which is the root of suffering and abuse

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to set a ‘goal’ and pursue this goal that I have created and determined through my mind, through the idea of myself, through my desire to become someone else, seeking something outside of myself to change me, but at its core I fear to change myself

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to project myself through my mind and follow thoughts that are Not Who I Am

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to react to my desire and interpret my desire as self-will, where in fact it is not Self-Willed action but Fear Driven Reaction

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to fear exposing myself, within this fearing others but at its core fearing exposure that will force me to change as the sharing with others as myself is admitting and opening up the point that facilitates real change

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to belief that the idea of myself protects me and supports me

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to belief that the definitions I have accepted as myself are real and who I am, not realizing that I have accepted these definitions and thus they are not who I am

I forgive myself for not allowing myself to realizing that within the participation of the idea of myself I am deceiving others and maintain a secret agenda as what I really ‘want’ within this I realize that this is not me that wants this but a desire that I have interpreted as what I want

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to manipulated others to get what I want with my secret mind that I have accepted to be me

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to belief I need to maintain and control the idea I have created of myself, within this believing I am really the idea I have created of myself consisting of memories, beliefs, thoughts and emotions

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to participate in the thoughts feelings and emotions that I have attached to memories, not realizing that I have stored these different events as what I ‘want’ within the belief that the thoughts feelings and emotions that I experienced is who I am

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself for having accepted and allowed myself to be lead by energetic experiences, not realizing that is Not Who I Am

I Am Not Thoughts Feelings and Emotions

I Am Not Energy

Therefor I Stop Energy Addiction

I Am Here as Breath

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