The Freedom Problem

Posted in Uncategorized on August 1, 2016 by Jorn

Since a couple of years now I have stopped participating in a group called Desteni. They are still active and you can look it up although my story is more about what kind of effect your belief system has on the world and the effect of the world on a person with a already installed set of perceptions about that world. I don’t participate anymore because I don’t believe all of the main things Desteni is based around which is the wondrous portal. I’d say Desteni is a lot like any religion with its own creation story and the belief in a woman that can bring out anything in existence and speak as it including people after they die. (i know it sounds kind of silly when you sum it up very short but its what it is)

I looked for answers in all kinds of matters, simple matters like how is there hunger and complicated matters like where do we come from. See, Desteni came up with all these answers for me, for others it might be their religion or their parents or friends telling them answers but for me it was this group. What happens is that instead of looking at the world like something you already knew mostly, things started opening up and were subject to change and more interesting through the glasses of Desteni then I had ever seen before. We all know we sort of loose that sense of wonder with the world after some time aging.

The thing is in reality is we know very little, and the fact is we can’t know anything really since it is interpreted through the mind which is conditioned to believe and recognize certain patterns. All we know is that what has been before and we can start to make all kinds of parallels to how it is now. Knowledge is therefore in effect the past. The past is continued through the now towards the future which is the past as well as it is projected exactly as it was before. Clinging onto knowledge like in science will every-time make an area to look at smaller and smaller as it is the refined past that is being looked at. However what is a really undeveloped skill in adults is the ability to free think and look at something without involving the mind as you are used to it, looking at something without involving judgement or any system that analyses what you are seeing/doing more like a child does.

As a foundation now we have an education system which teaches you to repeat after you are told, solve problems that a computer can solve much quicker. So instead of making human beings computers to run this system, rather have computers do the work so we can focus on things that are truly important to a human being. Which is for each to figure out through doing, working and living. Right now we have a system that is based on conflict through conflict we get to progress. Everything you have learned is fighting for something overcoming conflict so you can advance to a greater consciousness which is aspired and formed from a very young age. Business is conflict as it tries to compete and make money over the backs of others.

When we look at where we need to progress it is rather that we need to stop progressing and look at what the fuck we are doing, to this planet, to each other, to ourselves. Rather have people work less because the current economic growth is just based on a virtual reality where there is no limit, not to the physical reality. We are continuously pushing the limit for no reason at all except for some fame and money for those that make it to the top. These things were the things I wondered from the beginning, like why is reality like this and how come we still haven’t figured it out. Well that sort of is the problem as we are going as we have gone before and although we have figured everything out already the mass can’t stop, except for smaller incremental steps that are slowly being taken. Together this means that human kind awaits a future that is rather grim and this is something that you don’t want to get reminded of, but still it is rather obvious.

You might say: “ah well we have made it this far so we’ll see” but really in no time there will be fully automated supermarkets where you pay with a chip in your body and all the work is basically done by a computer then still we got this whole new problem which is: what the hell do I do now? Maybe people will be surrounded by machines even more to communicate and play so that you hang in your living room in your self-cleaning diaper with a VR on your head. I mean at what point is it gonna matter what living is and what virtual reality is? Because what we support is a virtual reality not a physical one.

My experience and perception of myself

Posted in Uncategorized on December 14, 2015 by Jorn

For some time I have felt ashamed about what I have done in my life, because of what I believed and I have come to the point where I am not ashamed of that anymore or feel bad about my experiences. I can see how I have come to do and believe what I have and I have stopped judging myself for it, more importantly is how to continue after all. It is simply impossible to continue with clinging to the past too much. I have experienced hallucinations and other things that I can honestly say were outside of my control, something I would never think possible. Yet the human mind is much more fragile than I have thought before. On the other hand it recovers, but much slower than the body.

Slowly I’m building up my self confidence again and am able again to reflect on what has happened as this was not possible for me for some time. Lots of things remain fascinating to me also about others in a similar situation how what I believed eventually took over and how strong your convictions can become and completely can take over. I am thankful for the experiences I have received and I can honestly say that whatever happens you should never give up on yourself even if you feel you can’t go on. Talking to others with an open mind that have had their realization in life about their beliefs and have met themselves so to speak has done that for me as does writing about it, because you can read back what you wrote and see in what phase you were in gives support, support to keep going forward and be honest to myself in that I have a long way to go but that you can do something about yourself. Its the only way really to achieve anything is to take a look at yourself first.

I don’t have advice for anyone else since it is only within an individual alone that you can start to make a change or challenge themselves to new things to keep moving and simply following some advice isn’t going to initiate that. Just like others I believe in sharing since I have seen a lot of blogs of people trying to make a difference from within themselves and I see that the internet has the potential to be a great tool in self help combined with other factors always that have to be already present for anything to work and that is a basis for self-dialogue. You can enable yourself to work actively on what you think and later will do as you can argue that thinking is in a sense a sort of doing.

This is as simple as actively planning and monitoring your reactions to what you have done so that you can adjust your planning to a sustainable level to your challenge level. It’s a simple way to put yourself to work and actively improve your reactions.

banger or bible hugger?

Posted in Uncategorized on November 5, 2015 by Jorn

Dimensions for an educated person might mean a plane or a realm or even a separate existence. It is a defined point of anything really and can mean anything, but it always means something. Say you crumble a piece of paper, every line on the paper creates new dimensions and the entirety is a dimension on its own in fact and most know this dimensions are infinite and you can recognize speech that deals with dimensions through words like within and as and like where it folds and unfolds and skips dimensions. What however is never possible is to get a real overview as it is always coupled with a name a definition of some sort that is pre-existing, you can never get to “god” so to say which is of course what everyone always tries to do.

A personality is a dimension of a kind as well, it consists of definitions and can be infinitely evolved like a book can much like  the works of Helena Petrovna Blavatsky where the human being evolves as the top species and becomes ‘god’ in a sense through evolution. It is one of the fairy-tales that keep most of society going actually, first a rocket to the moon and a nuclear program before anything basic like food for everyone and a roof for everyone. Calling that human evolution is just bullshit, it is simply common sense that human kind strife’s for what they can’t have and the truth is that we rather have to stop doing certain things instead of trying to do more.

Working with channeling and astrology where star signs align to what you do and so on is also pre-existing definitions within our self that we unroll as far as I am concerned. Everything to do with the dimensions is divination as a matter of fact even math and it always fits because it is like saying the train fits well on the land, ignoring the tracks that were lain down completely or being surprised it gets to its destination.

At the moment you define life, its only a life that is defined as such so its specific it has content that is interpreted and that makes it possible to do evaluation after life because you use a definition or a specific part of interpreted experience and call it life to which you can apply specific language to explore that without really going into the specifics because it is reinterpreted. This is rather useless as it is the experience of the physical individual that can never be retrieved like a black-box and that is where the magicians and interpreters come in and call it something else and take your money.

Some believe that this physical existence is eternity or that there is eternity after death the science corner believes its all a random accident that came out of an explosion that exploded out of nothing or whatever. Both are completely unverifiable, but one thing is for sure, if you try to grasp eternity from a dimensional plane you are gonna see nothing but black and if you try to do the same with the big bang its much the same as there is nothing to define after a certain point and it becomes impossible to get any overview.

Another view could be that there wasn’t something to explode speaking in big bang terms or in other words substance isn’t something that had to start existing or have to exist eternally it could just be morphing like a fluid changing form and we have been so indoctrinated in thinking that something has to be there existing in something else, its like our thought process is stuck in a box. Simply because what we observe and note down become the tracks that we ride for the time being as a mind. People that tell me, its all randomly generated I think don’t care about the question and simply do as has been told, people that simply believe in a god and eternity because the bible say so do exactly the same.

The purpose of this is to test for yourself if you can even do this mental exercise and see if you have a predefined idea about how everything started because we can’t proof any of it. If you can’t it is a limitation that you won’t be bothered by at all as everything we know is situated around this knowledge as fact and when you use something so crucial as fact you will never be able to see another concept as it passes because you will have already decided what it should be and whether you are a banger or a bible hugger.

My involvement in Desteni and a warning to others

Posted in Uncategorized on July 9, 2015 by Jorn

For a couple years of my life I have been involved with this group and I write this to inform and to share my experience so that others make their choices in an informed way and may also learn from my experience.

Desteni is a group that I got attracted to, because they did interviews through a woman called Sunette. I got attracted to it because most answers were for the picking up that other conspiracy sites didn’t give satisfactory answers to. Admittedly I was a little bit desperate to get answers and to find out more about subjects where honestly speaking of after the fact aren’t real answers to. The subjects I am talking about range from aliens and human origins to the afterlife and everything related to the paranormal. I went as far as going to visit this group and did lots of things in the name of Desteni which I have mixed feelings of on the other hand I feel like I did them and they are part of who I am now and the path I have walked and I don’t shove them away completely.

See for the most part Desteni seemed good and all, but I have always doubted many things such as how there would ever be a solid grip on any sort of dimension after life and what those people would actually do (just sit in a dark room exploring some space or what). After a while I saw that I had taken many things for granted in the quest to get answers and I was neck deep in material that I wasn’t sure of its validity. Mainly what made me doubt is that there is never anything specific that is extracted and that there is no way to check for anyone anything that is being transferred through the so called portal which is what Sunette was called as a human placement that could express anything in existence. Afterlife interviews originally it was duped and it got me completely in the beginning, but it was easy to see afterwards that most of it is just like a horoscope – it seems to get everything right, but in a very general way. Nope don’t believe horoscopes either by the way.

The problem that I got with Desteni is that everything is based on the portal really, if that falls away as a dupe then everything that has been derived from it and based around it becomes sort of obsolete. Its like promoting self honesty and self forgiveness, but if you have a base of complete lie then nothing of that really comes through anymore. The first time I realized it could be a lie is how I saw Bernard made a remark about the portal where he would often made a remark about the portal saying: “ha, and now we have the walking dead among us how cool is that” and how he would gauge our reaction to it as if it was some kind of attraction. Also how he would open and close it and determined everything that was being done concerning the ‘portal’ and also how in the stories of the beginning of the ‘portal’ it really was him that created it and it seemed that Bernard was using experience and only the experience from Sunette as a sort of cross reference to what he was doing. What was exactly going on I couldn’t tell, Sunette never talked completely open about the portal or the experience thereof and it seemed to me that Sunette was kind of lost in all this. Which does confirm my suspicion that she was simply going through a mental break perpetuated by drugs or I don’t know she went through some heavy shit, because you just don’t pull something like that off so easily – however people that go through a psychic break can have all kinds of experiences and they can increase sensitivity and amplify experience and that’s what I am seeing someone on XTC or a psychic break or both. However that is but conjecture from my part.

I have mixed feelings about Desteni, on the one hand there are capable people there that know how to handle shit and I wonder how far they have been allowed by Bernard to walk after the white rabbit or if he has actually told them the truth straight up. It was the con of a lifetime from him, but I suspect that a lot of people involved in Desteni were already sucked into demonology they were doing as what Desteni was originally doing. From my experience most people at Desteni still get attracted initially by the portal interviews, but there is less emphasis on it now and it is more for the insiders – the afterlife type of interviews I mean. Even though Desteni has brought forth a lot of different tools and practical things and proofed some things through walking them that doesn’t take away that at the core it is based on a lie and even if you could look past it and look at the practical side, the very fact that this cult continues with it completely defeats its own purpose. In all respect to its members which I see as people I have met and spoken to and experienced and in my opinion are good folk as they call it at home here.

I do think Desteni has a certain effect on its members as there is a certain language around Desteni that makes it cut itself off from the main world and it becomes a domain on its own. Its own paradigm of research with a different language to fit it. There is no way for outsiders to remotely understand what is going on until they join or read into the material of Desteni. Quite typical and not healthy for any human being to entertain too much as it is like a virus, it just takes over and you will be talking a completely different language in less than a few months time. I had no experience with cults before, but I have definitely hit one hard and it had an effect on my life where you cannot relate this to others and when it really comes down to it there is nothing to come down to as it is all made up by Desteni. I feel ashamed afterwards for having been part of this for so long before I could get my feet on the ground again and I feel it was a part of my path to search for answers and new experiences that were also very positive as it is great to be part of a group and ask questions that aren’t really addressed in class.

As for some closing words I would say: there are no good cults, there are no simple paths to answers, there is no afterlife you can ask, there is no great speaker that does it better than others. We do each of us our own thing and share that with others, that is all that is going on and we learn from our experiences and we love to share em for good and for worse and most of all we do everything to get further to the next level and we never really do and we get so stuck in this struggle that is what life is, this jumbled up stuff that you did because you wanted to do something so bad but you have to do with what you got.

The process of Self-Inquiry

Posted in Uncategorized on April 16, 2015 by Jorn

In a question there is always something external present that is questioned and already separately observed. In the process of Self-Inquiry the definitions formed are automatically referred back to self to be purified as Self.

Practically this means that not everything is questionable but everything becomes a journey to who you are as that which you question yourself, naturally you create a ordered mind that is able to reflect on things without a preconception of what that thing is.

This is especially important in remaining sane, in the most simple term of the word: wholeness of being instead of a being separated by him or herself through self definition which is unavoidable when participating in the world, but at least you are able to make the distinction between what is the world and what is you as the world.

The Art of Divination

Posted in Uncategorized on April 15, 2015 by Jorn

Many swear by it that by some practice or method it is possible to make an assessment about the future or the past, it has become a self fulfilling prophecy where we hang onto our star signs and that with mathematical precision there is written in the ether what is going to happen, yet best you ever get is a 50/50 chance and even that is subject to chance.

That we are linked at a quantum level however is what I found personally something hard to deny, I cannot see any other way for any of our reality to function the way it does and that there is predictable patterns is only so in our own cultivation of life and the ones in nature aren’t predictable in the way that is satisfactory to us.

Nature is predictable in shape and form to a degree and behavior is predictable to a degree and even characteristics we would ascribe to humans are to be found in animals, however a real predictable system that tells you a linked series of events is one of the things we can’t seem to find in nature as it is always slightly different, moving and out of place with what you would expect if it was simply all a matter of mathematics.

It could very well be the reason why we are so eager to invent it for ourselves and see our entire western culture hooked on game of thrones an excellent example of how things should be as a story, fitting together and making sense in some way – not just violence that was all for nothing and got us to the same point where we started, after all the ends justifies the means is the main slogan of any cult or culture to justify its existence. Where as I might be so free to make the observation that the means is exactly what is being constantly overlooked.

Home as a place for the living?

Posted in Uncategorized on April 13, 2015 by Jorn

Home can be defined as place where you live, traditionally we call a house a home which is an extension of the earth just more refined. In that sense where earth being the home of all having people without a house in a system which requires you to have a house to gain access to certain basic needs is causing needless suffering and besides makes us all homeless in a sense.

For your definition of a home is not only being under a roof and call it home, but it extends to living in a place which is earth. When not all can live in a home nobody is really at home since living is something we do together and is shared whether we like it or not. It doesn’t make sense that some have access to a home and some not in the slightest bit, still it is so.

A home created for a person should be defined as living in a place, which included all living having a place to do so it is simply common sense, still it is not so.

The discussion then becomes how come we keep perpetually repeating things that don’t make sense? Can you make a habit out of not making sense, but at the same time having such perfectly defined words of what the things are? It proofs we don’t do words, but a part of it only for a couple of us and calling it a day. We are all homeless people where some have gained by shoving others aside a place they can call their own, but home? Nah not really, its just fortress to keep for oneself while others needlessly suffer having no place to stay and get the protection they need.

In that sense you could say ‘need’ is being abused by dividing it into something you get once you earn it through some external manor. For some it is not even possible to get access to the external manors that would get them a home. From the point that not all are being covered we are all walking dead really.