;.’ === this blog is made door my alleen en niemand anders.
-https://open.spotify.com/embed/album/5a8rTeGV9AYotOxRhvv8Vv?utm_source=generator
Hooggevoeligen zijn het (p)utje van de samenleving”.”
https://www.joymax.com/silkroad
we nemen de geest en zijn het lichaam == we the body and spirited away.
mine — ours
corrigeer jezelf maar weer toch eventjes nog een keer maar weer elke dag opnieuw’.’
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1HRWzkCkFUEt6e-8nLg804UMfOFmMNzUj/view?usp=drivesdk
what is current…
^voor johan
INFERNAL SHADE with m
I grew up in a small village in the Netherlands. I had a great youth. My parents did not force a certain belief-system on me which I am grateful for. It also had the effect that it set me up, curious and adventurous as I am, to find that myself.
As I learned more about the world, I started to become kind of estranged to it. I mean this is what most teenagers go through, this endless struggle of identification. With friends, the group, idols, teachers, the losers. You know, anything. But even as a kid, I knew that none of the things I was involved with were something I wanted to be. Something that I identified with completely.
I started after high school, which I liked in some respects but I did not do very much to get through, 2 years of graphics design. I dropped out and went to France, to pick grapes. A great experience. Alone, and to my surprise a great adventure.
From early on I have also sailed on the lake close to my village and got to work at the sailing school there eventually as a windsurfing instructor. I did like that a lot. Teaching is much like learning together. It is like through inquiry explore together something which is dynamic even if I have explained it a 1000 times, there is the dynamic of listening and checking in where you learn learning itself. Like you learn the how of the others learning and in that learn your own teaching.
Windsurfing is much like sailing only that there is no rudder, you move the surface area of the sail over a fixed point on the surfboard to “steer”. The physics of the sail are much the same as the aerodynamics of the wing of an airplane. The dynamics of the wind and the weather, the moving water, the feeling of balance that you learn and train.
And one of the things that you learn is not to be too tense. Your body is relaxed enough to absorb the changes and react properly. And this principle is present in almost any activity, even of the mind. You become proactive.
I also did sports education for a while, to teach basic sports to elementary schools. I ended up as a sort of internship with my own gym teacher that taught me when I was a kid. She knew every single name of every single kid, of like a couple of schools. She was firm but fair. You know with these kids, you need to nip it in the bud or you are gone. Completely out of their field of periphery. And individual attention where it is needed. You need both, a strict approach and a soft one.
As I grew up more as a young adult I realized that my free lifestyle was catching up to me a little in the sense that I had to work cheap jobs, lots of call center jobs in order to get by. In all that I do find my way, we all know this: you make the best of the situation. Communication is weird sometimes if there is a kind of proxy relationship.
If I am selling a good product and the person is interested then the only thing I have to do is keep a pleasant trustworthy relationship and the product will sell itself, right? However the selling for selling as a statistic, because the company wants profit kind of got to me over time. Not that I think a company can’t make profit, but honestly it has always bugged me that we sell something just for some profit-model.
I joined a cult called Desteni for a while around 2010. In the end it seemed like there is much talk about principles and ideology but very little action. Unconstructive and incompatible with reality and a morbid outlook into the world.
It took years for me to process it properly.
I remember a dream. And no I usually am not much for the dream interpretations. However this dream had a certain quality to it, I never had a dream like this. I saw a circle of people sitting in a grass-field. The people were different from the people I knew and had met(I was different too), but somewhat relatable and then I saw this cult-leader. He stood there outside of the circle of people that were just chatting among themselves. He had this kind of grin on his face and a veil of black smoke in front of his eyes.
This experience moved me profoundly to recover my own experiences and realizations from that great time period and also to completely eliminate this character from my being. After quite some years I picked up just a simple life.
Nowadays I do a couple hours of programming with one off day as a daily structure/learning/occupation aka not work. Just basics backend and frontend website design and code. I have a wife and life.
You can use multiple for different situations to not become static
Art-Tech 
